As a little girl I tried to allow myself to believe that Jesus didn’t actually suffer on the cross. I tried to convince myself that since Jesus was God’s only begotten Son that He probably had some sort of super power that allowed Him to go through the motions numb, without any feeling, both emotionally and physically.
But in my heart I was afraid that Jesus really did experience all of that pain and agony for me. I had an inkling that that was the truth. I went to my mom for wisdom on the matter.
Her answer solidified my fear. In that moment the illusion that I had created was gone. At that point I was broken hearted.
Jesus’ suffering was real.
So here I am, years later remembering the conversation I had had with Mom. As I studied the scripture this morning the Spirit showed me again how emotionally and physically invested Jesus was on the cross of Calvary.
The bible teaches that he CRIED with a LOUD voice, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” which means: My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Again I feel guilty. My Savior wasn’t just acting a part or going through the motions. He was completely invested. Physically, yes. Emotionally too. Upon that cross Jesus was brutally tortured for me. For you.
And He felt it all.
Jesus never just went through the motions. Sadly, we often times do. We allow our walk with Him to become a habit. Maybe because in the flesh it’s easier that way. If we don’t feel then it is easier to deny His will in our life. If we aren’t attentive to the Spirit we can easily drift into numbness.
But I encourage you to become revived in The Lord. Stop just going through the motions. Become emotionally invested. The intensity and intimacy with Him will strengthen your relationship.
Be real with Jesus.