The bag that they handed Judas was heavy.
Immediately he probably felt a bit of hope or relief. “Maybe” he thought, “maybe they decided to give me more than just thirty pieces of silver. Maybe conspiring against Jesus will be worth it after all.”
But just as quickly as the thought came the moment of hope was diminished. Because in his heart, without even opening the bag, he knew that no amount of money could ever make up for the guilt he felt.
Sickeningly he opened the bag. He fell to his knees as the silver spilled on the ground. Reality dawned on him. This was the price that he put on his soul.
He ran back to the chief priests and begged for them to take back the money…for Jesus to be released.
They all but laughed in his face. Judas’ soul was just the means to their goal.
Judas was helpless. In an angry tirade he threw the money in the temple. Coins scattered everywhere. People stopped to stare. But he was oblivious to it all. Shock and regret poured over him.
Life as he knew it was over.
In hatred and remorse he hung himself.
I took a little bit of liberty in retelling the story of Judas’ betrayal. But can’t you imagine that those emotions were probably real? Maybe you’ve experienced them yourself?
The sickness that a believer feels when they betray their Jesus is enough to make us want to hole up never to be found again.
And that’s exactly where Satan would have you to stay.
But instead of hiding from Jesus run to Him.
He is waiting.
He has already put a price on your soul and paid it in full on the cross of Calvary all of those years ago.